Friday, October 15, 2010
It has been a long while since I wrote a blog post. No its not because I have been too upset or too busy, I have just realized i hopefully have a lifetime to write about Alesia. I just do not want to end up at a point where this becomes unimportant, I want it to stay with me as long as it can.
Our family has gone through so much already, it will almost be 6 months since our precious little girl last took her breath. Does it feel like that long, sometimes, considering Katerina is 3 months today. Then there are the days when it feels like it was just yesterday that I held her, smelled her, kissed her. Everyday is a reminder of how incredible this child was and how much she will be missed.
Since my last post we have received official autopsy results, showing the cause of death being due to an extremely rare heart condition called Endocardial Fibroelastosis. It attacked her heart suddenly because she had no symptoms and she died peacefully in her sleep. Our daughters have had tests already which have shown that they are fine. Combined with genetic testing which we will do soon, it will show that this was not genetic. They do not know the exact cause of this condition except that she may have gotten from a previous bout of Bronchiolitis, which was about a year ago.
Do these results make us feel better? I don't think anything will. What makes me feel better was that there was nothing anyone could have done or anything that we had done that caused this. Its just the luck of the draw. I hate it everyday! However I am so glad my other two girls will be fine because at this point that is all we have left, and they are the reasons for our strength.
Speaking about strength, we have ( when I say we it usually refers to my husband and I) gathered the strength and will to fund raise as much as possible for The Montreal Children's Hospital. I heard of a girl named Sara Cook she was 8 when she got cancer , she is now 17 I think, and she has the cancer again, her and her family have been raising money for the Oncology ward since she was diagnosed. Now they call that floor, sara's floor. I have a goal and that is to have the cardiology floor to be called Alesia's floor. My baby is gone but because of her we will save lives, she will do more then any two year old can, because she had a heart that big, that sincere. ( side not never wear make up before writing a blog post). On May 15, 2011, we will have an indoor fair, called Alesia's Magnolias, this day we will celebrate our daughters life by watching other children laugh, sing, dance, play. We will celebrate by saving others. If you or anyone you know would like to sponsor, or volunteer, that would be something we would greatly appreciate.
For now all I can say is picking out my daughters headstone was something I never thought would happen to me, and I do not want this to happen to anyone. Until something like this happens you do not realize how common it is, and it just makes the fundraising even more vital.