Monday, December 13, 2010


They say when life gives you lemons make lemonade, I say life gave us crap and we are desperately working hard to make flowers. You can say as the holidays come near this year it seems our sorrow grows with them. Every get together is a reminder of what we have lost and keep missing.

Last Christmas we bought almost matching PJ's for all of us and our daughters slept with us in our bed Christmas eve. They were so happy to sleep together and although I was pregnant and taking up more space then usual, I had a blast too. Just waking up to the happiness in their eyes and their smiles meant everything. So we decided to repeat the experience New Years Eve. My Birthday Bills family came for a roast beef feast and I taped the video on you tube of my girls dancing together.
A year later I have another sweet little girl but the void in my life is so strong I sometimes feel empty. I miss my Alesia so much that my favorite season of all, means nothing. I hate every event, even though I put a smile on my face, I cry when I am home, sometimes its my only way to fall asleep.

I am so glad I have my two little amazing daughters that keep me strong, because without them I do not know how I would be. Katerina is growing all the time doing new things like turning everywhere, has two teeth, and she babbles all the time. Maro had her daycare and Greek dancing shows and did a great job, shes a little diva who has really begun to pose for the camera in some crazy scary poses ( did not get that from me).
I wrote this blog today not to remind people about our grief but because I hope this makes everyone keep their children and families closer then ever this year. Give your little ones everything you can. Do not stress the holidays, embrace them for the time you get to spend with the ones you love.