Monday, December 13, 2010


They say when life gives you lemons make lemonade, I say life gave us crap and we are desperately working hard to make flowers. You can say as the holidays come near this year it seems our sorrow grows with them. Every get together is a reminder of what we have lost and keep missing.

Last Christmas we bought almost matching PJ's for all of us and our daughters slept with us in our bed Christmas eve. They were so happy to sleep together and although I was pregnant and taking up more space then usual, I had a blast too. Just waking up to the happiness in their eyes and their smiles meant everything. So we decided to repeat the experience New Years Eve. My Birthday Bills family came for a roast beef feast and I taped the video on you tube of my girls dancing together.
A year later I have another sweet little girl but the void in my life is so strong I sometimes feel empty. I miss my Alesia so much that my favorite season of all, means nothing. I hate every event, even though I put a smile on my face, I cry when I am home, sometimes its my only way to fall asleep.

I am so glad I have my two little amazing daughters that keep me strong, because without them I do not know how I would be. Katerina is growing all the time doing new things like turning everywhere, has two teeth, and she babbles all the time. Maro had her daycare and Greek dancing shows and did a great job, shes a little diva who has really begun to pose for the camera in some crazy scary poses ( did not get that from me).
I wrote this blog today not to remind people about our grief but because I hope this makes everyone keep their children and families closer then ever this year. Give your little ones everything you can. Do not stress the holidays, embrace them for the time you get to spend with the ones you love.


  1. Dear Sheyda: I know that this is the hardest time for. But you have to be strong for your other daughters. That can be hard to do. But she is in a safe place. Katerina got big. How old is she now? And Maro too. How is your parents doing? My mom says hi and your sister. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Love Sibel.

  2. Dear Sheyda,

    I read your blog all the time. It does remind me to not stress and to cherish each moment even though sometimes it is hard. I don't know what you are going through but I do know grief. I thought I would never enjoy the holidays again and after a loss I suffered almost three years later there is a little spark that gives me hope that one day I will enjoy them almost as much as before. I will never forget the ones I have lost but I am learning to live life and still appreciate what I have. Cry when you need to, let it out, and hopefully one day that little spark of hope will come back. Much loves and hugs to you and your beautiful family and to the little angel we got to meet so very briefly.
    Patty ( your weight watcher's friend)