Alesia and Maro

It is one thing to have lost our precious daughter but the daughter we have left has lost her sister. If you have a sister you know there worth. My daughters had 20 months apart and they were inseparable. I loved watching every moment of their play, and bonding. Now Maro plays by herself, she has tea parties and all sorts of new games but my heart aches every time I watch her. Most siblings at these ages (almost 4 and 2) will fight and play, my daughters only argued to play with each other. They wrestled in bed like boys, they played dolls and house like the girls they are. Maro called Alesia her toutoush ( I have no idea where she got that from). The first word that came out of Alesias mouth every morning was MARO.

Maro understands as much as she can about what has happened but sometimes she mixes things up like saying, " Mommy now her bo bo is gone and shes going to come back". Then she says she sees her every time she sees a bird or butterfly. We are trying to make her understand that she is an angel very high in the sky, that we can't see and that her spirit is with us, but it will take some time for her to understand this concept. We have to tell her all the time that shes not coming back and in some ways we are reminding ourselves of this sad reality at the same time.

I asked Maro yesterday who her best friend was and I was expecting her to say one of her friends from daycare (after her daddy ofcourse) but instead she had to stop herself from saying Alesia. How can you not be sad after that! Maro has lost her sister and best friend and on top of that can only understand a small part of what has really happened.




Maro and us as a family are really happy Katerina will be here soon but as my previous post states she is another individual child, she is not the one we lost. This does not mean she will not give us the joy all our children give but for Maro it will be a while until she can really play with her. I have been preparing Maro in telling her that the baby only eats, sleeps and has many diapers to change. I've let her in on how she will help me with her in every step but she still thinks she can just hold her and play for now.

Honestly I do not worry too much about Maro because she talks about all that has happened in a healthy way and yes at times she displays anger and frustration she did not have before but I can't blame her for that. At one point when she met new people she would say, " My name is Maro and my sisters dead". Now she has stopped that and she talks more about baby Katerina. Children are much more resilient then we think.


We will never stop talking about Alesia to our daughters as they grow up and that is the main reason I am writing this blog, because she was here and she was a great sister to both her sisters. She has and will continue to give so much to them that they will one day understand like we will.

As for Katerina I will never forget one day I was sitting on the rocking chair in the nursery with Alesia and she put my shirt up and she kept laughing and tickiling my tummy at the same time. At that moment the sibling bond had already formed and we sat there for a good ten minutes, just laughing, and Katerina just kicked and moved all over the place. Every night Alesia would rub oil on my tummy with a huge smile. Every time she saw a baby she would get so happy and I would say, " Soon baby Katerina will be here for you". I wish with everything inside of me that this would be the case but its not and I hope she is surrounded with babies where she is and is going to watch over her sisters every day and protect them from this cruel world.